Cannibilism on the increase causing zombie panic!

Have you read the news lately? There has been a noticible rise on canibilism, there have been reports of people resorting to this strange and unnatural habit from all over the world. In the last week alone the following have been reported:

A married man bit off and ate his wife’s lips in Switzerland because he was convinced she was cheating on him.

A young asexual man from Japan had his testicles medically removed, he kept them and then sold tickets for a dinner party where he then cooked them up and served them to paying guests. A total of 6 people shared this unusual dish, they included a young couple, a young woman and an old man.

A naked man in America was found running after a homeless man naked then jumped on him and ate his face off, the homeless man is in critical condition after losing 70% of his face. It is said that the accused was high in drugs, he had to be shot so he could stop eating the other man.

As a result of all these bizarre happenings a statement from the US has been issued after a spate of panic from the public. Forums have been buzzing that ‘zombies’ have arrived and are infecting people! This thought never crossed my mind, I did find it unusual but now I am a little concerned. I think I watch too many movies! I must have seen all that involve the ‘undead’ and let me tell you there is never a happy ending. So if there is going to be a zombie apocalypse then I would like a little notice to prepare myself and stock up and maybe re-watch all those movies to see if there is anything I can do to ensure my survival but saying that what would happen to the world should the ‘uninfected’ survive? I mean would you really want to go through the stress of rebuilding the world?

Well I think for now at least we are safe so I won’t worry myself too much.